Top 7 Forgiveness Misconceptions

1. If I forgive, that gives the other person a "pass". Forgiveness is about letting go of the negative feelings you harbor about a person, situation or institution. The other person may still have work to do on themselves. Their work is their business. We don't have to carry it around with us.
   
2. Forgiving means the other person can continue to do negative things to me. Unconditional forgiveness does NOT mean becoming an unconditional doormat. We can release the negative feelings we have about a person or thing and still decide from a place of strength and love to limit the types of interactions we have with them and put in place healthy boundaries.
   
3. They didn't make amends so I can't forgive them. Our own internal forgiveness is NOT dependent on the actions of the other person. Forgiveness is an internal act on our part of releasing negativity
   
4. Not forgiving others affects them and not me. When we harbor negative feelings they sit within us and become our focus. The feelings stagnate and cloud our hearts and minds. It has a major impact on us and on our relationships. One great metaphor is "resentment is like drinking poison in the hopes another will die."
   
5. Forgiveness is about people, not institutions or situations. We often forget that resenting institutions is just as bad as resenting people. Resenting everything the government does or hating the bank only incurs more negative feelings within you. By focusing on those feelings you garner more of the same in your life. Do you want more money? Love the bank and everything they do. Let go of any anger, irritation, ire or resistance. Watch your relationship with money, the government, etc. transform.
   
6. Forgiving yourself is not as important as forgiving others. Forgiving yourself is the ultimate. Many times we think we're mad at others and we're really mad at ourselves. Other times we continuously beat ourselves up for the same patterns or behaviors. Practice forgiveness of yourself to break the cycle.
   
7. Certain offenses are unforgivable. Remember, forgiveness is about what's in us. It's not about the other person. Forgiveness does NOT mean we condone the behavior. It means we release it's hold on our hearts and reclaim our power for a happy and prosperous life.