What is Coaching 2

What you focus on changes. 

This is the scientific crux of coaching.  What we choose to focus on we can change and change for the better. 

For me the shift happened with my first coach.  When I began with her, I was completely unfocused and not quite willing to admit it.  I knew, vaguely a lot of the things I wanted to accomplish but the busy work of my next lesson plan and being a coach were at the top of my list, not to mention any other number of hobbies I would begin and drop at a moments notice.  Once I plunked down the cash that changed significantly.  I knew I wanted to get my monies worth and that cash made the commitment stronger. 

She helped me narrow down my goals and put the important ones first.  My thinking cleared up and I felt so centered and present.  I was in charge of my time and my life, not circumstances or the next urgency.  Those urgencies that I figured out were really created by me and not being thrust upon me. 

The best part was that I discovered all of this on my terms in my way.  It wasn't someone preaching at me or telling me what to do.  I was learning what I needed to learn at the time I needed it.

Whether it's more mindfulness with your kids or a great promotion at work or finding our soulmate, coaching opens the doors wider by cultivating in us the transformation so that it occurs in our outer world. We are released from our own unproductive thinking.

By taking the time and money to commit to the coaching agreement, we exponentially increase our focus and our ability to make lasting important changes. We create the change we want in our lives.  And this change is easier, clearer and fun.

While we act partly as coach, mentor, personal trainer and manager, getting you to think more deeply and focus is where our power lies. The big part of what we do is act as a mediator to your thinking allowing you to think clearly, quickly and toward your own best interests.

Coaches are skilled at asking you the right questions, responding in a way that enhances clarity leading you to your own insights. It's a deep relationship between coach and coachee.  Profound insights leading to profound change.  This is where the magic happens in coaching conversations.  Why?  Because we're specifically trained to guide you to your best thinking and away from circular thinking and vagueness.

By getting to your core authentic self we help you create profound internal and external change.  We get you past your blind spots and over or around real and perceived obstacles.  Instead of a year from now saying I wish I had started sooner, you'll be basking in the glow of some of your greatest achievements.

Next Steps...

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Chinese Saying

Think it's hard to take that next step? It often feels that what we're dreaming of is forever out of reach or we put it off until tomorrow, next week, next year. Waiting means more waiting.

1. Take small step. Any little step will do. The next day, take another small step.

2. Create room in your mind and heart for forward movement by letting yourself believe it's possible. Letting go of perfection and "if only this" or "if only that" works wonders for your creative mind.

3. Ask what small thing CAN I do here? Breathe. Give yourself time and space to answer.

When I first had my oldest daughter, I thought it might be forever before I got back into my mediation practice. Any moment for focusing on myself in such a quiet way was usually taken up with nursing or catching up on sleep. It was hard to concentrate. It was hard to focus inward when I was the main caregiver for her. I was used to going into meditation fairly easily and now I needed more time to quiet myself - time I didn't feel I had. In fact, I focused on how much time I didn't have. I focused on how I didn't have money for a babysitter and why getting a babysitter for just 20 minutes seemed silly. I focused on the fact that I was nursing and it was hard to get away. I focused on every part of the not having time.

Maybe you've made a similar transition in your life - a new job, a faster pace, more responsibility, a move, a change in the family. In the midst of all that goes on in our lives, it can be hard to focus on what's really important, what our next steps should really be. For me, I had to let go of doing any meditation in large chunks. I realized if I could only focus for five minutes, then 5 minutes would be progress. I also realized I could use help. I downloaded guided meditations which helped me stay focused. If I did get distracted, the words of recordings helped me get back into the meditation. My spiritual side opened back up for me because I was willing to take small steps. The steps beyond that have just flowed.

We can all take small steps to reach our goals. We don't have to know how you're going to reach the destination. The next step doesn't have to be the perfect step. We can let go of the "yes, buts." We just have to start somewhere. There's so much power in beginnings. And it's amazing what possibilities will open up to us once we take that step.

Tell me your story below and...
Click Here to get further info and a free report on visioning your goals.

Action

It's almost October. It's been a full nine months since many of us made new year's resolutions. We may have found that sticking to those gets a bit lost in the busyness of life. So what to do?

Revisit your resolutions.
Write them down.
Prioritize.
Envision Success.
Enlist an Accountability Partner & Meet regularly. (friend, life-coach, trainer, etc.)

You don't have to wait a year to resolve for something better.

The Difference Between Forgiveness & Being a Doormat

We often equate forgiveness with forgetting. Forgiveness is about clearing out the negative emotions you are carrying around about a person or situation.

Remember though, that forgiving someone does not mean that they can continue to engage with you in a negative way. We forgive to regain our own internal balance and power. Addressing a problem, especially one that is reoccuring is part of reclaiming your power just as forgiving the situation is about reclaiming your power. Forgiveness doesn't give the other person a "pass" on their behavior. Instead, it allows you to come to situations with more clarity, grace and strength. We clear our heads and are able to refocus on our own interests and goals.

One of My Stories: I was upset with a co-worker. She was clearly wrong and didn't back me up when we were confronted by our boss. I was really upset. I withdrew. I was angry, I didn't want to speak to her and I decided I wouldn't and would do everything on my own. That year was my worst year. Without support, the job was really difficult. Instead of being realistic and focusing on what I wanted, I focused on being better than her and showing her.
Overall, my vision was cloudy. My heart was tight and I was short with the people around me. I was generally unable to relax. By focusing on my anger, I hurt myself, not her. It would have been much more healthy to speak to her about the situation with the intention of reconciliation and to then make decisions from that point. It didn't mean that I was to allow her to not support me when I needed it and it was warranted. By clearing the air and clearing my heart and anger, I would have been much more able to see my year with clarity and peace. The brain works so much better this way. When we focus on the positive, blood flow is directed to the pre-frontal cortex which is the part of the brain that plans, sees solutions, finds new ways and is creative. By focusing on the negative, I diverted blood flow to the lower reptilian parts of my brain. This made me rush to solutions that were inadequate or just plain wrong.
Forgiveness allows us to release the negative in our lives and clear out a way for more good to come in. It allows the brain to focus on the positive.
Remember, forgiveness clears mental and emotional space which enables us to more easily be our best selves. It's a act of self-interest.

Holding Yourself Back?

Many times we begin to envision what we want. We get excited about it and a smile may come to our face as we contemplate a new state of being.

Then, because we don't see a clear way to achieve that state or goal, we slough off the feeling and settle back in to our present reality. Many times, my clients have given up on their most precious goals because they weren't sure how to achieve success.We discount those feelings as just wishful thinking and enroll ourselves in a life of more of the same.

I say NOW... RIGHT NOW, envision your desire! Feel it, see it, write it down, make a vision board, hire a coach, etc. Remember, you do the world no favors by staying small!

Let the feeling and thought permeate you. Running away from the feelings and thoughts sends your brain and the universe the message that you aren't ready. Feeling the feelings and envisioning the outcomes helps your brain create and find new pathways. Envisioning and feeling your success helps spirit/universal energy align itself to your desires, opening pathways miraculously. Now is the time to install your own new mental and spiritual patterns to get to where you want to be.

Go for it!

For a free report on how to do Visioning,
click here and choose "I'm Interested"

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you love." ~~Rumi